Let me start off by saying what I didn’t expect to happen …
I didn’t expect to have to rebuild my life during a global pandemic — but, I did …
I didn’t expect to find sisterhood from a TikTok social media group or healing in a cigar lounge — but, I did …
And I definitely didn’t expect to find myself again, one solo trip at a time — but, I did!
At the end of the day, I’ve come to realize, that’s the beauty of hitting rock bottom — if you’re lucky, it gives you a clear view of who you really are underneath all those layers that make you, imperfectly perfect.
The Breaking Point
When my marriage ended, I’m not going to lie, it broke me. It wasn’t just about the infidelity — the ultimate betrayal, that cuts deep down to the core — it was everything I thought my life was supposed to be unraveling all at once. I had wrapped so much of my identity in being what I thought was the “perfect” wife, mother, and someone who kept everything looking put together for myself and my little family, even when I was breaking on the inside.
Ending my marriage also meant walking away from the second family I gained, due to marriage. A system of expectations, traditions, and roles. I had spent so long shrinking myself to fit into what was expected of me — as a woman, a daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law, an aunt, a wife — that when it all ended, I wasn’t just mourning all of the relationships that I gained by saying, “I do” — I was mourning myself, the one I truly lost over all those years …
Quarantine, Quiet, and Connection
And then, the world shut down …
COVID hit, and we were all forced to sit with ourselves in stillness. Social distancing, lockdowns, isolation — all while going through a separation — sucked BIG TIME. All the outlets I once had — GONE! The silence was heavy, almost suffocating at times. But silence has a funny way of forcing you to confront things. Because when everything else is stripped away, you finally get to hear your own voice. And in that uncomfortable quiet, I started to get a little clarity in the middle of the mess we call life.
Somewhere in all that quiet, I was able to stumble upon a TikTok that was created by a women’s social media group called Latina Mom Squad — and it changed everything. I remember the TikTok having a trending song and the creators of the group saying all of the things that I needed, at that very moment … I was sold! Now, I’m not Latina, but when something resonates with you, follow your heart and go for it!
This online sisterhood introduced me to powerful, beautiful women from different walks of life. Some of us had similar stories, while others were walking completely different paths. But we supported each other, laughed together, cried together, and reminded each other that we weren’t alone. That community saved me in ways they probably don’t even know and for that, I am forever grateful.
And, when the world began opening up again, I felt like I was finally ready to open up too — to life, to adventure, and bottomless brunches up and down the East Coast!
My Passport Became My Therapy
The first time I booked a solo trip, I was terrified. What would I do alone? What would people think? Would I be safe? Would I be okay?
Turns out, I was more than okay, because I often ran into people who were intrigued by my willingness to see the world alone that they would often share valuable tips to ensure that I had an amazing time while visiting their hometown …
I was free.
I explored unfamiliar streets with no one else’s timeline to follow. I sat in silence with myself and didn’t feel broken — I felt grounded. I visited local cigar shops to pick up sticks I’ve never tried and I sipped rum at the beach bars; I even found joy walking through all the different cities at my own pace, and smiled at the woman I was slowly becoming.
With every solo trip, I peeled back layers. I gave myself permission to be loud, soft, fierce, still, luxurious, wild — whatever I wanted to be in that moment, I was.
From Surviving to Thriving
The more I traveled, the more I healed.
The more I healed, the more I embraced who I was becoming.
A woman who isn’t afraid to walk into a cigar lounge by herself or any space.
A woman who loves hard, travels solo, laughs loudly, and takes up space.
A woman who doesn’t need permission — just the passion to fuel this internal desire of mine and a passport.
For the first time in years, I was building a life that felt like it belonged to me.
And I was in complete control — every decision, every destination, every outcome.
Whether it turned out beautifully or burned to the ground, it was mine.
I was holding myself accountable — not with shame, but with power.
Where I Am Now
Today, I stand in my truth. I’m a solo traveler, a cigar enthusiast, a rum and tequila sipper, and a bold woman who has learned to live fully, deeply, and unapologetically. I am ME, take me as I am or leave me be …
I still have moments of reflection, but now they come with gratitude. Gratitude for the heartbreak that freed me from having to shrink myself for relationships and situations that didn’t deserve me or my attention. For the pandemic that slowed me down, so I was able to see things more clearly. For the women who walked beside me, even virtually. For the solo trips that reminded me I was never really alone — I just needed to reconnect with myself and that, I did!
What’s Next
This woman travels, but not just to escape — I travel to explore, to heal, to grow, and to inspire other women to reclaim their lives, too! Because at the end of the day, life is short, and you just never know what’s in the cards for you …
I have big plans for myself. More solo destinations (Guatemala is up next and I can’t wait!), more luxury, more sisterhood — because I deserve it! I want to build a space where women like me — divorced, rediscovering, daring to dream again can feel seen and supported.
Because starting over doesn’t mean you’re starting from scratch.
It means you're starting over with strength and experience …
And I’m just getting started — Single, thriving, and at peace with it all!
Contact Information:
For any inquiries, please feel free to reach out to me via e-mail at thiswomantravels@yahoo.com or you can follow me on Instagram @iam_jennifer.
